


Take A Chance, Make a Change and Breakaway

by quiverby



Category: Warehouse 13
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-03
Updated: 2013-05-04
Packaged: 2017-12-10 08:09:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/783778
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quiverby/pseuds/quiverby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Joshua Donovan tries to figure himself out, before and after a twelve-year vacation from time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Age 11: Jennifer

She always knew something was off, something just didn’t feel right, but she didn’t want to put it into words. It wasn’t something that was talked about, other than derisively. Besides, what girl would want to be a boy for any reason other than to make things easier for herself? Jennifer knew, though. Nothing was right. 

When puberty hit and things started developing, she became even more uncomfortable in her own skin. One day, as things were getting worse, she hid in her room crying, something she would never let herself do otherwise. 

After about half an hour, her mother knocked on the door, then came in. “Jennifer! What’s wrong?” 

She looked up through her tears and sniffled a bit. “Nothing feels right anymore, Mom. I... I don’t feel like a girl.” 

Her mom sat back for a moment, and looked at Jennifer. “Ok, so you feel like a boy most of the time?” 

“Yeah, I think I do, Mom. I’m sorry...” Before Jennifer could say much else, her mother cut her off. 

“I always did want a son. If you had been born with boy-bits, we would have called you Joshua.” 

Jennifer pauses for a moment. “I like that. Can you call me Joshua now?”

“Of course, Joshua. I’ll make sure Dad knows when he gets home..” 

As Mom walked out of the room, there was a change in Jenn... no, Joshua now’s mind. What was only a dream before became a possibility, a reality.


	2. Age 14: Joshua

School was hell for any teenager, but as Joshua found out when he started presenting in Middle School, even more hell if you don’t feel right in your own skin. After coming home for five days in a row with scrapes, cuts, and bruises, his father finally exploded. 

“Joshua, we’re going to get you another school. This has gone on long enough.” 

In a way, Joshua was shocked, but in another way, he wasn’t. His parents had always cared from the moment they knew, and even with Mom pregnant, they made sure that they paid attention to Joshua. 

Time flew while they looked into options, finally convincing the school district to let him go to the magnet high school across town. Once he’d signed up for classes he was a little more confident about doing this high school thing. 

And then the surprise came. For his birthday, his parents told him to dress up, suit and tie, and they were going to go out for lunch. However, instead of lunch, they ended up at a courthouse.   
“Guys? What’s going on here?” Joshua stared up at the imposing building, feeling more than a little out of place. 

His mom grinned. “Well, we thought for your birthday we’d take you to get your name officially changed.” 

Dad hugged him. “It’s the least we can do to help you through this, Joshua. It might help with your school problems as well.” 

He could barely choke out thanks before they shuffled him into the courthouse and to the hearing. Thankfully, there was no one around except him, his parents, and a judge. Due to the sensitive nature of this hearing, the judge (a friend of his mother’s) cleared the courtroom for the proceedings. 

Leaving the courthouse a half hour later, Joshua couldn’t stop beaming. Now no one would call him Jennifer anymore. Even though they couldn’t get his gender changed on his birth certificate, at least the name was right, and any little step was a step in the right direction. he decided then and there that it was the best birthday present ever.


	3. Age 20: Sarah

College was everything that Joshua wished it could be. Because he was able to get a full-ride scholarship, his parents sprung for a tiny apartment so he wouldn’t have to deal with the dorm room situation. Lincoln wasn’t that bad, when it came down to it - a bit smaller than Omaha, more than a bit less tolerant, and definitely more than a bit agricultural. He found that he could easily fall into the background other than the obvious classroom shenanigans. A few people actually noticed that his paperwork said he was female, but by this point he’d been presenting for so long that most people didn’t press it. More than a few teachers looked at him funny, but most just assumed it was some sort of paperwork error. The bursar’s office even offered to change the ‘error,’ an offer that Joshua very much took them up on. 

It was easy to lose himself in the chaos and academia of college. Sure, he seemed to be just another guy in the physics and math programs, but that was what he wanted, to just be another guy in the crowd, not some kind of freak, which he wasn’t exactly sure he wasn’t. After one year of just going to class, or to the Mill to study and over-eat on chocolate covered goldfish, he decided that he needed something other than books and coffee. 

Exploring through extra-curricular activities, he found the inter-collegiate Debate team, something that he had really enjoyed in high school, the one thing he was always comfortable in, other than class. After a few weeks of just devoting himself to his debate prep, he realized that he was really in no better place than before. He was keeping to himself just as much. So one Thursday, as he settled into a desk to work on his latest speech defense, he decided to get up and move a few desks over. 

The girl that he sat next to was dark-haired, down to about her shoulders, with a sunny smile and a brilliantly sharp tongue. She was one of the top debaters in the club, even though she was in his year. He’d been admiring her from afar for quite a while, but there was something in the air today that gave him a bit of confidence. 

“Hey, Sarah, can you look something over for me?” Joshua slid into the open chair next to her. 

A moment passed as she looked over and actually smiled at him. “Joshua, hey. Sure. I’d be happy to look at what you’ve got.” 

He couldn’t help but grin as he passed his writing over to her. She looked it over, and made a few pointers. It was the most fun that he’d had in ages. As time passed, he started actually hanging out with Sarah, spending more than a bit of his non-class time with her. 

Near the end of the year, there was a school-wide dance. A bit nervously, he called her, and asked if she’d go with him. To his great surprise, she gleefully accepted. One lovely night later, Joshua realized to his own chagrin that he was falling in love with Sarah. It should have been an exciting experience, but Joshua realized that all he was feeling was fear. What if she found out about him, what if she rejected him because of his bits? 

A stressful couple weeks passed while he tried to figure out what to do from here. He couldn’t keep away from her; he was still spending time with her, and trying to act as if nothing was wrong. One day, however, Sarah was a bit distracted during their lunch date. 

“Sarah? What’s wrong?” Joshua reached over to take her hand, but for the first time, she pulled it away. 

“I’m transferring, Joshua. I just got word that I was accepted to Georgetown.” Joshua’s heart almost fell through his feet. 

“That’s great, Sarah, I’m so happy for you.” He wished that he could make himself seem a bit happier. 

“No you’re not, Joshua, I can tell. I’m not that unobservant.” Sarah reached over and took his hand. “We can try to keep it up, but I’m not promising anything.” 

Joshua sighed, squeezing her hand. “No, Sarah. Go and rock the world. I know you will.” 

She leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. “And you make your discoveries. I have confidence in you.” She smiled at him, got up, and walked out of the door and out of his life. 

Back in his apartment later, he actually allowed himself a few tears, but as he calmed himself down, he realized that it was probably for the better. He didn’t have to inevitably either lie to Sarah or hurt her. Life would go on, both for the better and for the worse.


End file.
